The Path of True Love
by Battleaxe01
Summary: The sequel to WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? Cristina and Owen are moving forwards, but the path of true love, never runs smooth. May help to read What's Love...before you read this one. Chapter 4 & 7 rated M
1. Chapter 1

**ONE**

It was a ring on the end of a chain. A simple 24 carat gold ring with a delicate engraved pattern, thread through a simple silver chain. As she tied the clasp behind her neck Cristina could just hear Izzie's voice saying. '_You don't wear gold with silver. No one wears gold with silver Cristina! No, I'll have to find you a gold chain. Let me look in your jewellery box...'_

Cristina was sometimes surprised she had a jewellery box to look into, but she did, and it was a pretty nice, ornate silver box with a pull off lid that sat on top of her dresser. She found it at a flea market years ago and it had followed her around whenever she moved. She threw her jewellery in it, so it was her jewellery box. She jumped as Owen pressed his hands on her shoulders. "... Sorry, I was day dreaming... What?"

"I said..." Owen moved her hair out the way so he could kiss her neck. "...No wonder you can't find anything in that box..." He looked over her shoulder at the crazy mess of link chains. "...When you throw things in like that they're bound to tangle." He pressed his lips to her neck again. "Don't you ever do anything neatly?" His hands gave her shoulders a playful squeeze and ran along her arms. "You wouldn't survive long in the army."

Cristina turned away from looking in the mirror and gave him a look. "I can do neat. I just choose not to."

"Don't you have a gold chain?" He said balancing the ring on the end of his fingertip. She caught up the ring defensively and stepped round him.

"This is not a moment for fashion. This is a moment for practicality. I want to wear the ring, but I can't _wear_ the ring. But hey look, if you want to buy me a _gold_ chain, for my _gold_ ring, be my guest."

Owen watched as Cristina made a frantic pace around her bedroom gathering things here and there, stuffing things in her bag, trying to straighten up, throwing the bed clothes over the bed, she tutted that would do for straightening.

"I can do that. " He said, moving her out of the way with his hip. He set about expertly and quickly making the bed. She glanced at him as she moved back to her dresser. It wasn't bad having an ex army guy for a boyfriend. Fiancé.

"What are you going to say?" He asked her.

Her eyes caught his as she allowed herself a moment of genuine reflection. "I honestly don't know. I might not say anything. I'll see how I feel."

"You don't think they won't notice the ring hanging there." He nodded at the gold ring dangling from her silver necklace.

"Maybe." She tucked it into her t-shirt and picked up her hand bag from her bed and began looking through it, looking for her keys.

"Come here." Owen couldn't resist bringing her into his arms for a hug. He moved around the bed to give her a tight squeeze, his cheek resting against her hair. He was happy. Cristina relaxed with him for a moment and then shrugged away. "I have to go."

Out onto the street they paced toward the hospital. She looked to the sky squinting in the bright light, thinking, wondering what kind of day it was going to be weather wise. She hoped no more rain. Although it wasn't cold, Owen moved with his hands pushed far into the pockets of his jacket. As they crossed the main street, he didn't follow his habit of reaching out for her hand. Cristina glanced at him, he was lost in his thoughts, his head was down, a tight unconscious grimace on his face, he moved quickly just ahead of her to cross. That was not like him. On the other side she grabbed his hand to stop. "Hey."

He looked up.

"What's wrong?"

"What?"

"What's wrong? You don't look happy."

"I'm happy." He said, smiling with more energy.

She stared at him for a long moment wondering if he was telling the truth, when he said. "I was wondering about you."

She pulled his hand and they continued to walk but at a slightly slower pace. He looked at her for her answer.

"I'm happy." She said.

"I thought maybe you were feeling pressured, you seemed a bit tense this morning."

"I just didn't want to be late." She replied seriously. "I didn't know if we would make it back on time.

But I'm happy."

Owen took his time before he spoke again, he didn't want to start anything. "It's not every day I take you to buy a ring." He said, the tone in his voice getting her attention.

She didn't answer because he was right. There were engaged and he'd bought her a ring that morning but all she thought about was getting to work on time. She was supposed be making a different sort of effort. The squeeze she gave his hand conveyed an apology. They should've gone ring shopping at the weekend when they had more time like he suggested, but she wanted to get the buying fuss out of the way, and so they went to the jewellers first thing. She was on late's and thought they'd have plenty of time, but choosing the right engagement ring had been surprisingly difficult.

"Sorry." She conceded.

His squeeze of her hand conveyed it was okay.

"I'll walk you up." Owen offered as they approached the hospital.

"No." She said pulling him to a stop. "No...You have the day off. Go. Go do some day off things. Go buy me something..."

"I just bought you something." He said making a face.

"I'm not talking about the ring." She playfully pulled at the front of his jacket. "I need filters, for the coffee. Size two."

"Oh." He tried to kiss her but Cristina was pulling away. He held on bringing her back to him, and bounced his groin gently into her a few times.

"Don't start..." She countered the look he was giving, with her own look. "I have to go..."

"...You're late. I know." He held on until she touched her lips to his in surrender. She held the kiss to satisfy him and then peeled away with a grin, their hands the last thing to be released from one another.

Cristina rounded into the hospital just in time to see Meredith, Izzie, Alex and some others stepping into the elevator, she stepped up her pace, but the elevator doors closed. Waiting for the next elevator she resolved it was probably a good thing she missed them. Her new ring glared brightly from her chain and perhaps before her shift she didn't need that kind of attention. Her situation with Owen had changed over night, they were moving forwards, making a big step. A huge step. An insane step. Maybe she needed to get used to it herself first. Hold onto the preciousness of their commitment or something ridiculous like that. Cristina stepped into the elevator and jabbed at the 'four' button...

***

"_Last night...?" She hummed gently playing with his skin._

"_Hmm?"_

"_Was that a proposal?"_

_Owen crinkled his brow and looked down at her. "When?" _

"_Well, when you said. I want to marry you. Were you proposing?"_

_Owen took his time about answering her. "Did you think it was a proposal?"_

_She took her time about answering him. "I think it could've been... a proposal..." _

_He smiled lightly into the top of her wild curled head. "Then I think ...it was a proposal."_

_There was a long, long pause._

"_Okay then..." She smiled widely, to the window, the morning sun and the blinds. _

"_Okay then." He said after a short, short pause. _

***

... It was nice being engaged; being connected to someone she loved. Alright she had been engaged before, she wasn't talking about then, it was different. Owen was different, being with Owen was different. Being engaged was different, she wanted this. Almost needed this, almost. A big swallow developed in her throat that she had to force down. Stepping out of the elevator she saw the backs of Meredith, Izzie, Alex and the others, filing into the change rooms.

Cristina placed her handbag between her knees and reached to unclasp her necklace and pushing it into her coat pocket, closed over the flap. She would announce her new status later in the day she decided as she hurried the short way to the change rooms. There was a time and a place for love and a time and a place for work, didn't Bailey already declare that as a rule.


	2. Chapter 2

**TWO**

Meredith was happy, smiley and happy. Izzie was bubbly. Alex had smiled. George was George, soft, gooey, annoying, but in a good mood. It had been a good day. Cases were challenging. Interesting.

Blood and science. Delicious. Nothing light today; and Bailey was in a good mood, Bailey was in a great mood.

As Cristina eyed her large sandwich and picked up her yoghurt, her eyes came back to her fellow residents, thanking whoever was 'upstairs' for aligning this as the perfect good mood day. She surveyed her friends, her team, her peeps, who, finally collapsing onto their chairs in the canteen, sat around at dinner hungrily loading up on the calories that would take them through the next few hours. Alex concentrated on eating. George organised food around his dinner tray. Meredith and Izzie talked and laughed about the same thing they had been talking and laughing about all day.

Cristina knew it was now or never, she had been holding out all day. Her engagement ring was shoved in her coat pocket which sat crumpled in her locker, and even though she wasn't that type of girl, she wanted to put it on. She wanted to have Owen's ring around her neck. Sad. Girly. Pathetic. But true. So she should announce. Let them freak out, they'd have the rest of the shift to calm down and after work at drinks at Joes, they would be buying the rounds. She spoke casually but loudly, pulling her spoon lightly across the top of her yoghurt and appearing as cool as she could.

"Owen and I are engaged."

Utensils stilled. Heads stuttered round in her direction., mouths fell open, eye brows wrinkled in confusion. "What did she say?" Quizzed Izzie looking at Alex, Meredith, George.

"Last night I got engaged." Cristina slid her spoon into her mouth and dragged it out between pressed lips. "Actually, I got engaged on Thursday morning, but we bought the ring this morning, before work."

Food in Meredith's mouth separated, some stayed in her mouth, some slipped back down her throat. She spluttered and coughed. Alex pounded on her back, she coughed more and her body pitched forward, she held up her hand. "Alex... ... Alex..." She croaked. "I'm fine. I'm okay..."

"What did she say?" Izzie asked again, looking at George, looking at Alex, looking at Cristina.

"I think she said she got engaged." George took a bite out of his sandwich.

Meredith wanted to say something, but didn't want to say anything, but she _had_ to say something. She squinted at Cristina. _"What?!" _ Was all she managed to splutter out. 

"Owen and I are engaged." Cristina peeled back the saran wrap from her sandwich, and placing her fingers neatly around one half took a bite, and leant back in her chair chewing. "Tonight we will be at Joes, no, not signing autographs, but buying drinks if you want to join us."

Izzie had a distasteful look on her face and downed her cutlery to consider what Cristina had said and what she wanted to say to Cristina. "_You're engaged?_ But a few days ago Hunt was breaking up with you. _But now you're engaged to him?"_

There was an awkward silence.

"You couldn't tell Hunt that you loved him, but now you're engaged to him?" Izzie clarified.

"Hunt?" Laughed Alex. "Go Yang and McDude."

They all continued to stare at Cristina, then raised eyebrows at each other and looked at Meredith who sniffed at Cristina's nonchalance. Alex expected an explosion, a turning over of dinner trays, a mad grab for Cristina's hair, something. But Meredith finished her dinner without drama. Izzie chomped noisily, stabbing at pasta on her plate, cutting snide looks at Cristina, who continued her dinner unaffected by the conundrum of noisy silence.

"You know, she's going to ruin Dr Hunt, and he'll break up with her, and then we'll lose another great surgeon at this hospital." Izzie fussed.

Cristina started on the second part of her sandwich. "You know, mustard can just kill a sandwich. Like the mustard on this sandwich is a little too tangy for me, and its destroying my enjoyment." She leant out for her drink and took a long sip from the straw.

Meredith was organising the remains of her dinner neatly on her tray. She pushed herself up from the table, turned her body with a nod at George, Alex, Izzie, a look at Cristina and left. Izzie shoved a large bite into her mouth, packed up her things hastily and stood up moving after Meredith.

Alex's shoulders jerked in silent laughter. "This is gonna be good."

Still leaning back in her chair Cristina continued with her mustard commentary. "If I gave them the name of mustard _I _like. Perhaps, _perhaps,_ the hospital could use it in their sandwiches."

Alex continued to shake his head between mouthfuls. George shook his head but braved an opinion.

"I _would_ say Hunt is a lucky man, but, you'd know I was lying. So I will say that you area lucky woman, because Dr Hunt is a great man... and you deserve great. " He looked toward Cristina who was pushing to her feet.

"Shut up." She growled.

"You're welcome." Nodded George.


	3. Chapter 3

**THREE**

At Joe's Cristina sat staring at the drink in front of her, what else she could do with it, she'd lost her liquid appetite.

"Is it something you want to talk about?" Asked Owen.

Cristina didn't move, didn't nod, didn't comment, nothing.

Owen reached his hand onto her shoulder, the shoulder closest to him and massaged it deeply but gently. Then he soothed her back with his palm and settled his arm across her waist. They remained like that, at the bar, looking at their drinks.

"Meredith?" He surmised. "Do you want me to talk to her?"

"If I want you to come back without your thumbs I'll send you in." She replied.

At least she was joking, that was a good sign. He hated to see her this low. He didn't like her hurt, in any capacity. "So, I gather you told her, about us."

Cristina used her finger nail to scrape at something on the bar top.

"She's your friend, she loves you, she'll come around." Said Owen with a squeeze to her waist. "She wants the best for you. She's worried."

Cristina grunted.

Owen pulled his arm from her waist and took a sip of his drink. "You're the same where Derek is concerned, in fact worse."

"Well if I forget myself next time Derek acts up. You have my permission to have me put down."

"She doesn't trust me yet Cristina. She might never trust me. She just wants you to be safe."

"From you." It was a statement.

" Yes."

"Am I not safe?" Cristina straightened herself up, but didn't look at him.

"We don't know. Not for sure."

She didn't say anything.

"Cristina?"

She ever so lightly dipped the tip of her middle finger into her drink, fishing out a floating speck.

"Cristina?"

"I don't like this conversation." She said.

"But it's a conversation we need to have over and over." Owen turned his head to her. "It's a conversation that will never go away. We can never be sure that I won't......again."

"Choke me? Go on say it if we _have _to talk about this." She emptied the remains of her glass and climbed off her bar stool, she needed to use the bathroom.

He sighed and rubbed a hand across his chin. They were supposed to be celebrating. Owen didn't know. He was at a loss for words. Cristina needed Meredith and Meredith needed Cristina. This was always so fucking complicated. A hand grabbed him on the shoulder, startling him.

"Owen! I hear congratulations are in order." Derek folded his coat over the stool Cristina had been sitting on. Owen got to his feet with his best smile and shook Derek by the hand thanking him.

"A better, braver man than me!" Thundered Mark behind Derek. He squeezed in to grip Owen's hand. "Taking on Yang. Permanently." He squared his shoulders and his eyes shone. "A brave, brave man, but then you're used to working in dangerous situations." Mark looked around him. "Well where is she, the blushing bride to be? I want to kiss her. With your permission of course." His eyes glinted.

Smiling Owen sat back down. The three men sat on stools along the bar and started talking, joking. Owen was ordering a round of drinks as Meredith strolled up, her coat slung over her arm. She laid it on top of Derek's coat.

"So I guess we're not getting a booth?"

Owen jumped to his feet. "We could..." He looked round him. The place was filling up, but there were still some empty booths where they could all sit down. Derek placed a hand on Owens arm without acknowledging Meredith and without looking at Owen. "Owen." He said.

"You've been doomed already." Said Mark, taking his drink from Joe. He placed it on a coaster on the bar and then grabbed a handful of nuts from the bowl Joe had placed in front of them. "There is nothing you can do to make this situation better. She hates you. Just live with it."

"She does not hate him." Interjected Derek. "She's just upset. She's having trouble... processing events... The best we can do right now is to stay out of it and let the 'persons' fight it out amongst themselves. Let me buy you another drink Owen."

"No let me get it." Owen insisted. "Meredith? What will you have?" He jumped to his feet again.

Mark shook his head.

"I'll have vodka and cranberry." She said easily meeting his eyes.

Cristina was walking up. "I'll have what she's having." She said when Owen looked to her.

He noticed that she was wearing the engagement ring; it dangled brightly on the end of her necklace.

They all noticed it. Cristina's top had a scooped neck and the jewellery shone brightly against the fabric. She seemed oblivious of the affect her engagement ring was having on her friends. As far as she was concerned she was back from the bathroom and was ordering a drink. Meredith stared at it.

Owen smiled happy with Cristina. She was signalling to him that no matter what, they were moving forwards, not backwards, never backwards. They were in this together, they were engaged to be married, person or no person, it would all work out. Mark eyed Derek who eyed Meredith, who turned to the bar and pretended to fidget with something in her coat pocket.

Derek picked up his drink and stood up. "Do you want a game of darts Mark?"

"Sure."

"Come on." Derek nudged Owen.

Meredith sat down on the stool vacated by Owen and Cristina sat next to her. They didn't say anything for a while, but knew they were going to talk at some point. Meredith, despite her uncertainties wanted to tread carefully. Cristina wanted unconditional acceptance. It could go horribly wrong either way and they'd already been _there._ Side by side they never glanced or looked at one another. Their drinks arrived and they took sips. Put their glasses on their assigned coasters, sipped some more and put them back down. They did this one more time before Cristina spoke; she had directness in her tone.

"Be happy for me."

"I am happy. See."

"For me. Be happy for _me._ You don't have to like him, but be happy for me."

"Who said I don't like him. I've spent a long time trying to like him. So I like him. Cristina I like your fiancé." She exaggerated the syllables in the word.

Cristina rolled her eyes.

Meredith spoke carefully and methodically. "I don't want this to get out of hand. I don't want us to fall out. So I am working on being alright with this. But I don't understand why you have to marry him. On Tuesday he was breaking up with you, and you were freaking out about _that." _

Cristina didn't say anything.

"He's not okay." Continued Meredith. "This is not okay."

"On Tuesday he was worried about us." Cristina responded. "He was processing...some things."

"All right, I'll understand that. But why do you have to _marry_ him?"

Cristina looked into her drink and wondered how long they were going to have this argument. "You're married." She shifted on her stool.

"I'm married with post it notes Cristina. Post its!"

Cristina didn't need a diagram drawing. She knew what Meredith was saying and she knew what her friend was feeling. She'd felt frustrated herself with Owen a few days ago, but they had worked through that as a couple. Her position wasn't to convince Meredith of Owens good points, it was to get some peace and stop this constant guarding against her being hurt by Owen. She was honestly glad to have a lioness like Meredith on her side. But there had to be a line drawn at some point, Cristina had done the therapy, she'd talked to Owen and they decided they were going to move forward in their relationship, and she liked that direction. There had been enough drama, enough crap, enough sadness, enough tears, enough guarding. Cristina wanted more of the lightness and the love, and the fun and lots and lots more of the sex, the great sex with Owen.

"Why don't you just say the words crazed, psycho Meredith, you'll feel better."

Meredith put her glass up to her lips. "Cristina I'm just worried about you, that's all. I was liking him, but now I'm worried. Again."

"I'm engaged Meredith. _Engaged! _ I couldn't even think about that before without wanting to throw up. I've moved forwards, even you can see that. I'm _evolving._" Cristina said it like it was a dirty word. She turned her body toward Meredith. "I am your person. You are my person. So I need you to be happy for me. I need you to accept this. I need you to be on board. When the time comes, you have to be there to help me choose a dress, and flowers and all of the other crap. _Please_." It was as far as Cristina wanted to go emotionally. The pleading was taking her over the edge; she turned back to her drink.

They didn't talk anymore for a while. Meredith had listened. She was considering. She had thoughts about it. She thought she had accepted Owen. She thought she liked him. He was fairly humorous, dry. Derek liked him, liked their conversation. Professionally he was excellent. Cristina liked him, which was important, she loved him. He _had_ good qualities, she could admit that, and Cristina was genuinely a happier person. But, and it was a big but, when things went wrong between them, they went horribly wrong and no matter what else Owen was unpredictable, rash and hot tempered. The possibility of another choking incident was always on Meredith's mind, even if it wasn't on Cristina's, and the fact that a few days ago Owen wanted to break up with Cristina, made Meredith further doubt his stability.

"His mind, his actions seem to change so quickly." She said.

"He was processing Meredith. You're not allowing him any room to process or change his mind." Cristina took a drink.

More silence. More thinking.

"Alright." Said Meredith after sometime. "Alright." She nodded.

"Alright what?"

"Alright I'll be your person for the wedding."

"Thank you." Finally. Finally things were getting back to normal. Meredith just had to exercise her person status and flex her best friend muscles. Cristina drained her drink. "Thank you."

Meredith reached for her bag which was wedged under her coat. She put the bag on the bar in front of her and took out a small mirror and some clear lip gloss. "Did you tell Helen?" She said, feathering her bangs into the mirror.

"Tell Helen what?"

"About Owen, about your impending marriage?" Meredith arranged some strands around her face.

"No." Cristina said quietly. "Not yet."

"Will you?" Meredith applied some lip gloss and pressed her lips together.

"Of course, she is my _mother._"

Meredith nodded. "Does she know everything?" She placed her things back into her bag.

"Like what?" There was a warning tone to Cristina's voice.

Silence.

"Meredith why don't you just get to the point."

"Does she know he has issues?"

"Had issues Meredith. Had, and no she doesn't."

"Well don't you think she ought to know, seeing as you want to get married?"

It was the way Meredith said _married _that made Cristina turn her head, she did it very slowly. Her brown eyes flashed.

"Meredith I'm warning you."

"She should know." Meredith wasn't put off. "Don't you think she should know everything? She should know everything." Meredith braved nodding.

Cristina's back stiffened, her face contorted, she waved her finger at her person."Meredith I am warning you, if you talk to my mother. I will break up with _you!"_

Over at the dart board, Owen pulled the darts from the board after his throw and walking back watched Cristina, he could tell, they all could tell that things weren't going great, but were trying to abide by Derek's advice to let them get on with it and just play darts. Mark leant in behind Owens ear.

"I dare you." He said with a smile glancing at the darts and then toward Meredith. Owen laughed and held his darts down, Mark straightened up. "You know she probably wouldn't feel it, for any number of reasons."

When Owen saw Cristina shake a finger at Meredith, he decided to go over, Derek followed him.

"Everything all right ladies?" Owens hand pressed onto Cristina's shoulder.

"Meredith?" Derek questioned standing beside her his hand on her shoulder.

"Oh let them go at it," Barged Mark coming up the rear. "Mano to mano."

Meredith was standing, Cristina stood. Cristina gathered up her things and arched an angry finger at Meredith. "Do not speak to Helen!"

Meredith sniffed, and flicked her hair a bit embarrassed at Cristina's anger. Cristina, coat in hand pushed her way out of Joes bar and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**FOUR **

She ignored his appeals to calm down and clattered noisily around the apartment eventually bringing Callie out of her room. Callie furrowed her eyebrows at Owen. "Is she going to be like this all evening? Because I've got Arizona coming over."

"I'm right here!" Cristina braced.

"Are you, are you really here?" Callie eyed her, annoyed at Cristina's noisy interruption.

"Alright Sundance." Owen pushed Cristina towards her bedroom. "You don't have to fight with everyone." He pushed her onto the bed and shut the door.

"One day I won't need a roommate." She said flinging herself back flat on the bed. Her arms went over her face and she mumbled angrily through them.

"No you won't need a roommate." Said Owen taking off his shoes. "You'll have me, and I won't take any notice of you when you get like this." Unbuttoning his shirt and then taking off the rest of his clothes, Owen grumbled about the Siamese duo named Meredith and Cristina. "You're both a pain in the ass." He declared. In all honesty he didn't understand why she needed the approval of Meredith over everything. "We're supposed to be celebrating." He said leaving the bedroom to take a shower.

For the second time that day, Cristina knew he was right. Rolling off the bed and leaving the room, she appeared outside the shower stall pulling the glass door open. Owen didn't flinch, as she often did that in the middle of a thought. She leant against the wall and watched Owen's body move as he soaped and cleaned himself.

"...Okay, but you don't understand our policy as best friends..."

"You're right I don't." Owen washed soap from his hair.

"She's my person and I expect ..."

He looked at her for a moment. "I am tired of hearing that she's your person; and I still don't know what it means..."

Cristina sighed and tried to explain. "A person is..."

"Shouldn't I be your person... whatever it means?" He stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel out from the shelf unit and started to dry himself. Cristina followed him with her eyes. He really was a fine specimen of a man. "...You know what Cristina? It doesn't matter what it means. The fact is we are committing to each and your _best friend_." He emphasised the words. "Isn't happy for us, or you, and I'm going to talk to her about it."

Cristina scoffed.

"I love you, and while I_ understand_ Meredith's concerns for you, I haven't seen you smile once today. So I think it's time I sat down with _Mer_ "He mimicked Cristina with a wiggle of his head. "And let her tell me what she thinks I need to hear."

Cristina stared at him.

"Maybe I'll take her to dinner or something... Are you getting in?" He nodded toward the shower as he dried his hair.

Cristina hummed thinking, and began to very slowly strip off, piling her clothes in a ragged heap on the floor. Owen grabbed them up with a tutt and a shake of the head and went off to load them in the dirty clothes basket. She loved that man.

"Owen."

He looked up.

"I love you."

His eyes and body language softened, "I love you."

She turned the water on in the shower and before pulling the door shut she made a decision. "I'm going to speak to my mother about us." Her face bore the difficulty of the situation, but if she loved him she couldn't hide out forever. She could also join him in doing everything to make their journey together easier. "I'm going to tell her everything, about the choking, about your trauma, everything. It's going to be my power move against Meredith!" She shouted through the water.

"Is everything about our relationship going to be about _Meredith?_" Owen shouted pissed off. It was enough already.

"Hey!" Cristina shouted turning off the water. She pushed the shower door open. "I haven't smiled today because of this constant push against you. I'm tired of explaining myself and justifying things when they happen with between us."

"Then why do you!" He demanded. "I thought you were a private person who didn't like to share her feelings. You never opened up to me like this! So why does your _person _have to know everything, why does she have to approve everything? Why do you need her to approve of me? Of us?"

"What happened to _Meredith loves you, she cares for you, she wants the best for you?" _

They stared at each other. Cristina pulled in the shower door and continued with her shower. Owen didn't understand Meredith. He didn't understand Mer. He didn't understand the relationship. She couldn't explain how angry she was at Meredith and how annoyed she was to have to constantly defend Owen.

But Meredith was her friend and in the morning they would squint at each other and growl and circle each other ready to pounce, but instead they would do rounds together, make snide remarks about the patients, drink from the same coffee cup, hog or split the best cases and then go have lunch together. It's what they did. They had an annoying, strange and often brutal way of loving and protecting one another. She couldn't explain it to Owen. Derek understood, he had learnt. He kept out of the way and let them get on with it. Owen being Owen was trying to fix things. Cristina turned around to let the water clean suds off her. Owen had gone back to the bedroom.

She walked back into her room without her towel. Her damp hair was wound high into a tight bun. Owen was lying naked in bed. Before she joined him, Cristina stood at her dresser and picking up her lotion, applied it to her skin, taking her time. Owen head raised on a few pillows, watched her.

"She does like you."

"Cristina, I don't care."

Cristina rolled lotion down her arms. "Don't try and understand us, we're complicated."

Owen rolled his eyes.

"But she does approve of you. She just doesn't approve of me marrying you. "

"Is that supposed to make me feel encouraged?"

"Not really." She put a leg on the edge of the bed and began to massage her thigh and down to her shins and feet. "Let me deal with it Owen." She closed the cap on her lotion and setting it back on the dresser and went to flick the bedroom light off. Cristina climbed into the bed and crawling on top of Owens body locked her face into the side of his neck. "Are we still celebrating?" She mumbled.

Owen massaged his hands down her back and clamped them on her bottom. "We could celebrate for a little while longer."

She massaged him with her newly lotioned body, which of course Owen appreciated. Holding the side of his face Cristina kissed him. Owen kissed her back running his hands over her soft body. It wasn't long before his erection was forming and pressing on her front as she massaged him. Positioning herself with the help of him, Cristina eased her body onto his. In the dim light of the room he watched her face absorb their pleasure. He held onto her hips to control her movements as she rubbed on him gently. Her legs lay either side of his, her chest touching his as she moved on him. In time she reached her release point, but held onto it, until Owen quickened his pace reaching his own release point. They managed to reach a conclusion almost coming together.

Owen pushing her hair aside kissed and nuzzled tenderly at her neck. Cristina smiled sleepily to herself. She could get used to doing happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**FIVE**

Derek was laughing, as Owen stood flushed red, his ears burning in embarrassment. Derek used his finger to dab lightly at the corner of his eye, soaking up imaginary laughter tears. He stood with Owen in the foyer of the hospital at the end of their shift. People walking the hospital looked in their direction. The elevator doors pinged and Mark and Lexie, finished for the day, walked out side by side. Marks mouth curved in a smile as he approached.

"What's so funny?"

Derek took his time, using his chuckles to punctuate his words.

"Owen wants...to take Meredith on a... date."

"Well I ..." Stumbled Owen.

Mark dug his hands into his trouser pockets and looked to Owen, and looked to Derek. "So?"

Derek was slightly disappointed that Mark didn't see the joke, and then wondered why he wasn't bothered that another man wanted to date his wife. "_He wants to take Meredith on a date_." He stressed.

Mark swung his head again to each friend. "I don't get it."

Beside him Lexie smiled, this was interesting.

"I just thought it would be a good idea to get to know Meredith a bit better." Explained Owen.

"You're trying way too hard." Grimaced Mark. "Why are you trying so hard?"

"Well I wa..." Owen stopped to reorganise his words, explaining that it was more for Cristina and for Meredith more than for himself.

Mark shrugged he still didn't get it. "Why do care so much? Let them duke it out. "

"Well I thought..." Owen stumbled over his words again. "If I could... '

"He wants Meredith to like him." Derek interjected. "So he wants to make a fuss of her, take her somewhere where they will have to bond, and like one another."

Mark raised his eyebrows; he still did not see the point but said. "Perhaps you could take her bungee jumping – without the cord."

Derek started to laugh then straightened at Marks unfunny comment about his wife.

"Or..." He said eyes peeling off Marks face. "You could try taking her for a meal or something."

"Or salsa dancing!" Enthused Lexie.

The three men swung a look at her. "I...I don't think ... so." Said Owen.

"How about paragliding." Said Mark. "Tandem."

"Or deep sea diving." Chuckled Derek.

"Very funny." Said Owen. Knowing he was walking directly into obvious jokes about this situation, but to him this was a serious business. "Well what else should I do, if you don't think this is such a good idea?"

"Oh I think it's good you want to get to know Meredith better." Smiled Derek, "I just don't think being alone with her is much of an idea."

"You could try roller skating." Lexie suggested casually.

Derek and Mark looked at each other and laughed. Mark crooked an arm around Lexie's neck. "Isn't she cute?"

Lexie shrugged him off and spoke seriously to Owen. "My mother used to send my sister and I out together when we weren't getting along. N...not Meredith... sister... My... My other sister... I thought it was to get us out of the house, give... give us some air." Lexie kept her eyes on Owen. "My sister wasn't great at skating, I was a little better. My sister would complain as we went round the rink, she kept falling over, and... And eventually I would go help her up tired of her complaining. But I would be complaining myself having to be out with her... I would be holding her up, helping her around the rink. She had to rely on me, listen to me, appreciate me, realise I was useful and not take me for granted, or argue with me so much. It was nice..." Finished Lexie, "...and eventually it did bring us closer together."

"Well thank you for that." Mark raised a sarcastic eyebrow. "But I doubt Owen - Dr Hunt has got ten years to bond with Meredith over roller skating."

Lexie was undeterred. "Skating, Dr Hunt, worked for us, my sister had to appreciate me, and...And it's fun."

Owen thanked Lexie for her input, but knew there had to be a better way to bond with Meredith.

"Why are you doing this again?" Mark wanted to know focusing on Owen. Then he remembered. "Ah yes, Meredith, Cristina. While I like the idea of dating two best friends. There has got to be a better way than crashing and burning with those two. But don't tell me, team bonding," Mark made a face in Derek's direction. "It works in the army, right?"

"Well." Concluded Derek picking up his briefcase. "You have my permission to ask my wife on a date if you can figure out what you want to do. Whether she'll go anywhere with you is another matter. But you're welcome to try. " Derek moved off. Mark pulling Lexie along with his arm, tailed behind Owen and Derek.

"Why don't you just give her a box of chocolates?" He called out.


	6. Chapter 6

**SIX**

Cristina rolled into the changing rooms at the start of the next day and acknowledged her friends by name. She thanked each one of them for a, not showing up at Joe's for drinks, and b, not being smiley happy, supportive people about her engagement. "In case you missed it, I said marriage, not murder." Izzie shook her head at Cristina's dramatics.

There was still an obvious something that lingered from the other night between Cristina and her 'person'. Alex made frustrated digs about the 'lovers tiff.' Izzie rolled her eyes as she flicked her hair into a bun. George ignored the dance of not talking between Cristina and Meredith. It was a regular occurrence and he learnt a long time ago not to take sides. The posturing and avoiding would last if they were all lucky, a day at most, after which things would get back to normal and love would bloom all around, until the next lovers tiff.

*

That afternoon Cristina bounded up to Derek at the nurse's station on the third floor.

"Why is Meredith talking to Owen?" She asked. The station was busy with activity and Derek didn't say anything, he just kept his pen moving finishing his notes. The counter was piled high with his charts and he had to move through them. Cristina looked at him waiting for her answer, as nurses, doctors and patients moved, busy in work or motion around them.

"Am I supposed to know who you're talking about?" He said eventually not looking up from his work.

"Meredith and Owen." Repeated Cristina. "They're talking. Politely. Down there." She nodded to her left. "What could they be talking about?" She wondered more to herself than to Derek. Disregarding the already cramped counter space she spread her arms wide along it and tapped her fingers quickly, her lips pushed together while she thought. "Owen wouldn't tell me, and I can't ask Meredith yet."

Derek nodded, he knew this was code for, 'we aren't talking at the moment'. A nurse reached over him for something. Derek bobbed backwards to let her reach it, Cristina stayed put remaining in the way.

The nurse and Derek cut a look at each other. "Well, seeing as this is a hospital Cristina, perhaps they're talking about _medical issues._"

"No," She noted seriously. "They were talking about non medical things, and smiling, sort of."

When she continued to wrap her fingers, Derek was forced to indulge her and put his pen down. He looked at her; maybe she would go away if he gave her the attention she was demanding.

"Haven't you wanted them to become friends and bond? Get to know each other? Hasn't that been the point?"

"No." Snorted Cristina. "I wanted Meredith to stop giving _me_ a hard time. Not like Owen... Sotheir trying to become _friends _or something_?_" Her face wrinkled in disgust. But recalling that Owen said he was going to talk to Meredith, she stuttered. "Do you... Do you think he's talking to her about _me?_"

Just then Callie walked up, and with a nod to Cristina handed Derek a chart, which he slapped on his pile without looking.

"What's this?" She asked noting the frustrated look on Derek's face, and the concerned pout on Cristina's.

"Owen... wants to get to know Meredith, and is trying to find a way to connect with her..." Said Derek.

Callie made a face.

Derek shrugged. "...Absurd I know, but that's what he wants to do. He asked me if he could take her somewhere in the hope she might understand him, get to like him..." Derek picked up his pen and got back to his work, his high pile of charts was still a high pile. "I think it's a long shot... But I can't fault him for trying..." He looked at Cristina a moment. "He's doing this for you. You should be grateful."

"Yeah right." Cristina replied, leaning off the counter and walking away. "I'll think about being_ grateful."_

*

Meredith broke first. She knew Cristina was hurt and was right to feel hurt. All five of them were a team and no matter what they stood behind each other, even if they didn't want to. The snide attitudes had gone on long enough and she reluctantly agreed as much in the locker room that evening as they all dressed to go home. Enough posturing, enough not talking, enough snide looks, enough snide remarks. Cristina was engaged to Owen. Fine.

He had approached Meredith earlier in the day, and had made an effort to connect with her so Meredith _could _give him a chance, or something. Besides Derek was giving her a hard time. So approaching Cristina as she dressed, Meredith admitted that she had received a bit of a talking to from Derek.

"He thinks I was being selfish and that I should be happy for you because you're my person and that Owen is a good man his word, not mine. He said I should apologise to you, and so I apologise." Meredith shrugged.

Cristina knew it was the best she was going to get and with a begrudging look spoke slowly, "Tell McDreamy that I accept his apology... and that... I've got one of those catalogue things I'd like him to look at...."

"Fine." Noted Meredith with the hint of a smile, and George, mocking, raised his hands and cheered quietly.

They all headed out of the hospital and while the others headed to Joes Bar, Cristina and Meredith walked towards Cristina's apartment. As they walked, Cristina began her interrogation of Meredith, seeing as Owen, no matter how much she badgered him or threatened him with the withdrawal of intimate contact, wouldn't give details of his talk with Meredith.

When Meredith enlightened her, Cristina was horrified. _ 'A date' to a roller rink!_ _For a grown woman and a grown man!' _It was insane. She pressed her fingers to her forehead as they walked. It was crazy that Owen wanted to be alone with Meredith at all, to bond,to resolve issues or whatever the hell else he hoped to accomplish. She griped and pressured Meredith to rethink, but Meredith was going, she was going on this stupid date with Owen and that was that.

"He used reverse psychology on me. " She said to Cristina as they walked along the street towards Cristina's apartment. "I don't know how he did it. But he did, and now I'm going. I can't back down." Meredith sniffed, the cool air of the evening making her nose run.

"I hate it when he does that." Said Cristina and pushed her hands deep in the pockets of her coat. Her hair was wild and being thrown about by the bounce in her step. She flicked it out of her face as they hurried down the street. "It's an army thing. Owen can convince anyone to do anything. When I'm upset with him he does this thing with his hand in my hair, he stares at me with those fucking eyes of his and uses reverse psychology shit on me. I usually end up having sex with him. It's pathetic. You didn't' have sex with him did you?"

"No." Meredith laughed.

"Believe me." Said Cristina. "You were close."

"Well I'm going to go. He challenged me. He said I wasn't willing to like him, and that hating him made me feel I was better than him..."

Cristina smiled. They turned into her street.

"...I said," Meredith continued. "I don't hate you, and he said, 'Really'. Only it wasn't like, '_Really?_' Like a question. It was like, 'Really.' Like, of course you think you're better than me. So... so I had to accept, just to prove him wrong."

"I told you he's good at this. I think it's how he got enemies to talk or something."

Cristina moved ahead to open the main street door of the apartment. They climbed the stairs to her first floor front door where Cristina unlocked it and flicked the hallway light on as they entered the apartment. Discarding their coats into a pile onto the hallway table they made for the kitchen, where Meredith sat on a stool and Cristina raided the fridge. After laying some food items on the counter, she handed Meredith a beer, and kept one for herself.

Meredith kept talking. "So I said okay, I'll give you a chance, only I didn't use the word 'chance', because that does sound like I think I'm better. I said I have no problems going out with you Dr Hunt, so that we can talk with one another." Meredith flicked her hair and sniffed. "So now I'm going roller skating, and I have my sister Lexie to thank because it was her idea!" Her voice was a mixture of hysterical and annoyed. "You do realise I am doing this for you." She looked at Cristina. "I am doing whatever it takes to understand and like your fiancé. To like your person."

"Oh," Said Cristina, taking a swig of beer. "Owens not my person."


	7. Chapter 7

**SEVEN**

The tip of Owens tongue traced along her lip line. He pulled her lower lip into his mouth and held it there massaging it with his tongue and teeth, biting it, pulling. It stretched in his mouth as she smiled and peeled away as she slowly wrangled her face free. "I could do that all day," He laughed with her. "You have beautiful lips."

He tucked his face into the side of her neck, getting lost in her hair, nuzzling up to her ear with his nose, breathing her in, pushing his tongue along her skin. Owen played in this comfortable corner of her body for a while. Cristina sighed in peaceful pleasure. Stretched out on the floor of the living room, lying on a puddle of blankets and pillows, relaxing under the body of Owen Hunt, her legs spread each side of him as he lay in between her.

Her hand smoothed over his messed hair combing it, massaging into the back of his neck with her finger tips. She loved the colour of his hair and was proud that he walked around the hospital a unique specimen of a man. She felt lucky, and happy. They had been playing, and kissing and touching and holding and talking and connecting and discussing lovingly with no interruptions for an hour now and mostly because they had early shifts and Callie wasn't coming home until late.

Cristina's bare arms wrapped around Owens neck, her tank top was bunched up as he had been tracing circles on her stomach and kissing her there. His shirt was unbuttoned and their skin touched. Owen was at the point where he wanted to make love to her, but they were alright as they were, just exploring and talking. She tried again to reverse his date with Meredith.

"It's not a date." Owen complained when it was called that.

"But it's insane." Cristina whispered softly, with soft eyes and a soft smile, confidently using the tools in her bag of femininity. She was determined to overturn the decision of the date. She kissed him three times.

"I... am so mad about this... that I can't even... talk about it.... right now."

Five times.

Owen slowly massaged his groin into her and kissed her five times back and just as slowly, he had his own tools to combat hers. "What... would... you... rather me... do?"

She smirked against his mouth. "Take... your pants... off..."

Owen hovered over her so she could reach underneath him and undo his belt buckle. She prised the top button of his jeans from its hole and pushed his zipper down. "I'd rather ... you did... nothing." She kissed swirling her tongue in and out of his mouth.

Owen took over and pulled off his pants, kicking them away. Back on top of her he moved his front gently massaging her, massaging himself. "I can't... do nothing..." He traced his tongue around the inside of her ear, his breath tickled her.

Cristina sighed closing her eyes and opening her mouth for him, but he pulled at her ear lobe with his teeth and traced his tongue licking at her ear and at the skin behind her ear. "It will end in disaster." She bobbed away from him ticklish. Signalling with her body that she wanted to take her pants off, Owen leant up, and they pulled them off. He lay at her side and moved to kiss her stomach. "Meredith will... exterminate you..." She smiled dreamily. "I think... that's her purpose..."

Owen smiled lightly and used the tip of his nose to massage her skin and begin a slow journey down the inside of her thigh, sneaking to reside beside her underwear. His tongue anchored under the band and tickled at strands of her pubic hair for a while. Kisses and licks warmed her skin before his fingers took over and massaged gently into her.

Cristina's tongue peeked out between her lips which were plump and purple with desire, she made a sound that had Owen pushing his fingers further into her. "I'm going to try anything ...it takes..." He breathed, looking at her face.

Cristina edged her legs wider to massage herself into his fingers. She pressed her hand down on his. "You _can't_ do it."

Owen watched her expression as he added another finger into her. "But...I want to... do it. You need... your friend to talk....to..."

"God..." She breathed pressing his hand more.

"...She's your person... or something..." He massaged into her and then easing his fingers out he grabbed at the band of her thong and pulled it down her legs and off. Bringing his hand back to her he wiped his fingers slowly back and forth through wetness coating his fingers.

"...We're okay..."She panted. "But...you're going to...fuck...things...up."

"It can't hurt...to talk to her..." Owen kissed her mouth slowly.

"God, I want you to do it." She pushed herself towards him, collapsing her knees together to keep his hand trapped between her legs. She grabbed at his hair and pulled him to her mouth again. "Owen..." Her tongue pushed deeply into his mouth, Owen sucked at her tongue and pressed her bottom lip between his teeth and sucked at it and pulled tenderly.

"Good because... we're going to do it...at the weekend." He swallowed her light pants.

"Huh..." Cristina pressed a hand to his chest pushing him up from her, peeling her lips from his mouth. Her eyes creased open. "Wait...a minute..." She pushed up awkwardly onto her elbows. "Are we talking about sex... or are we talking about... your date with Meredith..?" She breathed.

"W...What?" He stumbled.

"I can't do this... if you're going to keep talking about your date with Meredith." Cristina said flushed.

"Sorry..." Her pushed at her shoulder to lie her back down and crawled on top of her.

Adjusting his underwear and putting one of her legs onto his shoulder, and doing the same with her other leg, Owen eased his erection into her and held still to enjoy the sensation of her inner muscles jumping slightly. He looked into her eyes, which blazed with her need for his movement in her. He pulled at the tight skin by her ankle his teeth nipping at her bone.

He began to move slowly in and out of her, Cristina was silent lost in receiving. His feather light breaths made her melt into his body. Her wetness soaking him as he pushed steadily. Cristina's hands rested lightly on his chest riding with his easy rhythm. He didn't need to speed up because the feel of his cock slowly pulling in and out of her put her on the verge of coming quickly.

There was that place inside of her that was stimulated almost instantly by the slow feel of him. Torn between letting it last or finishing quickly, her tongue peeked between her lips while she thought about it, but it didn't matter as Cristina could feel herself unravelling.

Scratching his skin, her breath came in wisps and she pulled at the back of his neck. "God I..." She clutched at his skin and pushed herself into him. He continued to massage his cock into her. A cry came out of her. "Oh..." Owen pushed himself harder and deeper into her and quickened his pace. Cristina came hard giving herself over to her body, releasing loudly. She pulled at his neck wanting to keep feeling him in her until he settled. Kissing passion into his skin her hands moving roughly in his hair and pulled him to her. "Owen..." Her breathing slowed and smoothing her hands down his neck and over his firm shoulders she swallowed and asked a favour of him.

He hummed. "Yang...?"

"Do not... do that on your date ...with Meredith." She breathed.


	8. Chapter 8

**EIGHT **

A back booth to herself, a big dinner in front of her, a vodka cranberry and a beer on the side. Cristina settled in at Joe's bar, content to eat and drink alone. Owen was finishing up his shift and called to tell her to go ahead to Joes and get her dinner, he'd meet her there and pick up something later on, so she sat eating, carelessly looking at the door every time it opened.

Almost finished with her salad and fries, Cristina nodded when Callie approached the booth, a drink in her hand and her bag slung over her shoulder, Arizona standing a little way behind her.

"Hey." Cristina said. "Are you going home?" She stabbed her fork into her plate and grappled a large leaf of lettuce into her mouth. "I left the living room in a bit of a state..." She munched. "I'm waiting for Owen; we'll be over later... He'll clean up." She smirked.

Callie was easing herself into the booth seat opposite Cristina and not waiting a beat longer than she had to, began talking to Cristina as if they had been in the middle of a conversation. She leant forward her large breasts squashed to the table as she expressed herself.

"Look," She began, her brown eyes focussed on Cristina's face. "...I don't know what kinda love-fest you and Meredith got going on here..." She circled her fingers over the table. "...But she wasn't there, okay? She wasn't there... She was at home in bed relaxing with her little McDerek, and you and I were there..."

Cristina's brows wrinkled in confusion, her eyes moved from Callie to Arizona, who shrugged.

"...When you were gasping for air. _I was there._ Meredith didn't see your face. She didn't see you crying. She didn't see Owens eyes, or see his body sitting on yours choking the life out of you..."

Joe's was loud and above the chatter and clatter and clink of glasses Callie focused on Cristina's face and wiggled her finger. "....You're not the only one who has nightmares about that night. _I couldn't sleep for a week! _When youbroke up with Owen I was glad, because I was scared to have him in the house!"

Cristina looked down for a second and laid her fork over her plate. She had no idea what started this rant from Callie, but as Callie obviously needed to vent, she let her get on with it.

"....When you got back with him. Did you tell me? No?" Callie's head moved. "And, I just found out. _I just found out. _That he had treatment, that he had therapy." Callie waggled her head with a laugh. "All this time, I've been scared he might.... might.... and he had therapy and is all cured, and no one bothered to tell _me!_" She continued. "So I know that she is your _person_ and all that... But when you and Owen are running around trying to please _Meredith,_ think about it. She wasn't even there that night. _I was." _Callie jabbed at her chest. "Meredith came to the house that night because _I _called her_."_

Callie slid out of the booth as easily as she had slipped into it still with drink in hand and still with the bag over her shoulder, marching a path through the crowded bodies in Joes. Arizona slipped Cristina an apologetic look turned to follow her.

Picking up her fork, Cristina mouthed a forkful of lettuce, chewing slowly, but somehow her appetite was gone. She pushed the large plate away, sidelined the remaining fries and with her elbows on the table, pressed her face into her hands.


	9. Chapter 9

**NINE**

Owen stood at the end of Meredith's hospital bed holding her chart; he had his head down and flicked the two pages, pretending to read what was written. His professionalism was admirable, but what gave away his embarrassment were the red tips of his ears and the creeping burgundy up his neck.

Meredith lay with her head against some pillows and watched Callie as she attended to her ankle. She closed her eyes with a sigh. The rattle of her chart falling back into its holder caused her to open them again and she looked at Owen.

She felt sorry for him really.

Callie was giving her odd looks and why shouldn't she, this was whole situation was embarrassing. Owen cleared his throat and mumbled something about the ankle being 'just sprained' and she'd be okay, keep off it, keep it elevated. Meredith closed her eyes again, bla bla bla. They were all doctors; she knew what she should do. She breathed out heavily through her nose.

Seriously, she fell.

A grown woman and a grown man, pushing themselves slowly around a 'roller rink' and seriously, she fell. In front of everyone. She needed to not see Lexie ever again.

Forty minutes into her 'date' with Owen, she was actually having a good time. Strange, but not so terrible. It was an outdoor rink, and they were just another 'couple'. Owen was a gentle man and did gentlemanly things, like opening car doors and cupping her elbows, and asking her opinions and paying for things. She wondered how Cristina endured all the chivalry, but thinking about how fiercely Cristina defended Owen, she bet her friend, secretly loved being the girl to his guy. For a brief forty minutes, Meredith got a glimpse into the world of the Hunts and she was surprised. Outside of the hospital, on his own, he was not so bad. Sort of.

She fell because she said, "What's this all about Dr Hunt?' and he said. "Owen, please." And she said. "Why are you doing this, Owen?" And he said. 'Because I love Cristina and I want to hear you out. You don't like me, I hurt Cristina once and you hate me for it. So let's just get to the bottom of your resentment. I won't hold it against you." He was pretty direct, and that caused her to turn to look at him as they went around the rink for the second time, and that was it, she slipped, her ankle bending under her. Date over.

Owen accessed the ankle, and then asking her permission, picked her up in his arms, and once again, she got a glimpse into the world of the Hunts. He _was _strong and, manly.

She sighed.

At the hospital he went into Doctor mode. Derek showed up, gave Owen a bit of a talking to. Gave Meredith a bit of a talking to. Kissed her forehead, pulled Owen out of the room, gave him another talking to - she could see through the glass - but couldn't hear. Meredith was attended to, had something to eat. Fell asleep and now it was morning. Monday morning.

Owen had been diligent, fussing, but pretending not to fuss. Callie had quietly put her through the necessary processes, and was sat quietly attending to her ankle, intermittedly looking at Owen and shaking her head.

All had been pretty straight forward through the morning until Cristina arrived to start her shift and came up to visit Meredith. That's when embarrassment levels rose to an all time high. Cristina hurried into Meredith's hospital room and cut a look at Owen. She stood at the end of Meredith's bed and picked up Meredith's chart. Her face was sick with sorrow. "Meredith...I am so so sorry." She put the chart back and looked at her friend.

Bringing one hand up to her chest she emphasised her upset. "I told him Mer, I told him, and I told you, do not do this. Who takes a grown woman roller skating for their first date? Well I know people do. But you're not people. You're Meredith." Cristina was genuinely upset, and more than a little embarrassed at the bandage on Meredith's ankle.

Owen stood to the side, wishing Cristina would go away.

"I suggested dinner remember. You know he's a good cook. I am so embarrassed." Cristina shook her head. Her eyes connected with Meredith, who just looked at her. Callie stood quietly with her arms folded, all her work was done, she was about to leave the room when Cristina appeared, she decided to hang back a moment to see what unfolded.

"It was an accident." Meredith was more embarrassed than Cristina could ever be. "And you can stop calling it a date now."

Cristina moved from the foot of the bed to stand beside Meredith and fussed. "Did he push you? You can tell me?"

Meredith laughed softly despite her mood. "I just fell, it wasn't his fault." She leant her head back on the multiple pillows Cristina had insisted she have.

Owen stood with his hands on his hips, watching her.

"I've told him Mer. No sex from me, for three days. In honour of breaking my person, I will not let him touch me. Three days. This is what I am doing for you." Callie flicked her eyes at Owen and made a face.

"You would think her _person_ would be worth one week." She muttered.

"Did he push you?" They turned to see Alex enter. "Just tell me if he pushed you." Alex walked over to Meredith not seeing Owen or Callie.

"He did not push her." Cristina looked daggers at him.

Alex moving to grab Meredith's chart to scan it, started at Owens and Callie's disgruntled faces.

"Thank you Karev." Owen pulled Meredith's chart from Alex's hand. The tips of his ears flamed red, but he kept his composure. "Don't you both have things to attend to?"

"He means you." Said Cristina to Alex.

"I mean both of you." Owen cupped Cristina's elbow. He ushered them both out of the door. He had a no nonsense face. Turning, he asked Meredith if she wanted anything.

"Just peace," Meredith smiled weakly.


	10. Chapter 10

TEN

The whole situation unsettled Cristina. While there was fun in the joking, underneath she was annoyed.

How difficult was it to just go out with someone, be their girlfriend, let them be your boyfriend. All joking and drama and great sex aside, all she really wanted was to work and be with Owen. She fingered the engagement ring around her neck and wondered what getting married to him really meant. Sure it was commitment, but it was her future, and as independent as she was, she wanted to share her future with Owen. He was fun to be around, he was a great lover, he loved her unconditionally and he was brilliant and smart. There was just something about Owen Hunt that made her want to stick by him. She couldn't explain it to anyone who asked. She just liked, loved, wanted to be around him.

Not that she really cared what her friends thought about her, but she cared what they thought about him. She protectively didn't want anyone to hate him, or worse, be scared of him. Callie's rant to her at Joes had been on her mind a bit. She didn't like to think of anyone hating Owen or being scared of him. Owen would pull off his right arm before he hurt her on purpose. She thought Callie liked Owen. She wanted Meredith to like him. But then didn't care if either didn't. But then she did. It was complicated.

Owen was making efforts to please all round. Always being polite to Meredith, taking her on dates and things. Keeping Callie's apartment clean, cooking, filling the fridge with food. A year of wonderful-ish harmony amongst her friends and the reset button had been pressed because Owen _thought _he wanted to break up with her, but got engaged to her instead. What was so bad about moving forwards in her life? She yawned, and pushed her feet and into the back of Owens legs and snuggled the back of her body up to him as he slept. Wondering why it mattered to her, what her friends thought about her life, she fell asleep.

*

In the early hours of that night, a long while past midnight, one of Cristina's heels connected with the back of one of Owen's shins and he shifted instinctively, drawing his leg away from her. When her heel jabbed at him again, Owen grunted and shifted forward still in sleep. It was a long while past midnight. Owen was sleeping on his side and Cristina lay sprawled on her back taking up most of the bed. The flat side of her palm pushed at the side of his body. Owen opened his eyes and turned his face toward her and felt the back of her hand come up and hit him in the face. "Hey!" He rolled away from her. Her heel jabbed again at his body. Owen sat up and flicked the bedside lamp on. She was still asleep; he leant over to shake her. "Cristina."

She lashed out at his touch, dislodging his grip a moment. He held on tighter and called her again, this time louder. Her hand pushed out and the heel of her palm jutted him on the jaw. Pushing her feet rapidly into the bed Cristina made like she was trying to move, she swung her body wildly and kicked out awkwardly. Owen got to his feet to get out of the way. He stood watching her momentarily confused, should he restrain her, try again to wake her. What?

When Cristina began to gasp and wheeze sucking in air, clutching at her throat, Owen went into doctor mode and sprang to her side. At his touch her gasp intensified, as did her actions, she clawed, grabbed, wheezed, lashed out and kicked her feet wildly. The bed covers went flying off the bed. Owen scrambled backward. He swallowed and looked round him, every time he touched her, her hands made frantic pushes at his body. She was reliving the choking.

There was a light on outside their bedroom that meant Callie was still up.

"Callie!" He called out. "Callie, get in here!"

Owen reached back down to Cristina and tried to wake her, she was going to hurt herself. Her hands scratched at her neck, when his palm applied pressure to her shoulder, she pushed at and slapped his face, her fingernails trying to scrape at his skin. Her eyes were clamped closed and she fought him, but he held on, calling, trying to slap her face, not hard but to jolt her awake. The scorching intakes of breaths she took made Owen feel light headed. She was trying to say his name.

"Callie, I need your help! Callie!"

This was nothing like being a doctor in control and watching or helping someone through a seizure. This was his girlfriend, and the last time he was over her, holding her down like this, he was choking her, hurting her, squeezing the life out of her. He called out fretfully. Cristina's whole body struggled.

Callie's shadow finally appeared as she pushed open the bedroom door knocking. "Hello hello..." She was wearing her night sweats and her hair was bundled into a messy ponytail. The look on her face when she saw Owen paused over Cristina's body would have made him sad if he had the time to process it, but he didn't. "Get in here!" Owen called to her.

Callie didn't move, she looked at Owen but didn't, couldn't move.

"She's having a nightmare!" Owen cried out. "I don't know what else to do... She's not waking up." He looked and felt helpless; every time he approached Cristina she attacked him. "Can you help me?"

The look on Callie's face told him she couldn't; she was confused, scared, wary.

"Callie!" Owen ordered.

Just then her shoulder was twisted roughly into the bedroom as Arizona barged her out of the way to get to the bed. She grabbed at Owen roughly. "Move!" She knelt onto the bed, reaching out for Cristina and shook at her shoulders firmly. "Cristina!" Arizona was focussed on pulling Cristina out of her sleep. "Cristina! Wake up. You're having a dream. Come on. Wake up!" Arizona slapped at Cristina's cheeks firmly with the front and back of her hand and called out to her, holding on and tolerating the lashes Cristina gave out. Eventually Cristina stopped fighting and her eyes opened. Her breathing was heavy and she coughed, gasped and tried to focus.

"That was a bad one." Arizona looked over at Owen.

Cristina tried to access the situation but there was no rational explanation why she should be lying in her bedroom naked with Arizona kneeling over her, with Owen and Callie hovering in the corner with the same look on their face. Callie in her night sweats and top, and Owen naked, except for a cloth something, he held at his front.

"You're touching me." her eyes lazered in on Arizona's hands holding her body. Arizona let go as Cristina struggled to her elbows looking for something to cover herself with. Arizona pulled the bed clothes from the floor and heaped them over Cristina's body and went to stand by Callie. She soothed her arm. "You alright?" Callie barely nodded.

Owen walked over to the bed and sat down next to Cristina. "This must have been your worst orgy," She said. He placed a careful hand on the side of her face and hair. The concern in his eyes caused her to give a little cough, to hold back a lump that was creeping up the back of her throat. "What happened?"

"You were having a nightmare." Said Arizona. Cristina moved her eyes back to Arizona, who was trying to cover her front suddenly aware that was wearing a night shorts and a see through tank top. Her eyes were gentle, concerned. Arizona turned to look at Callie. Callie couldn't move, she felt weak and genuinely sick to her stomach.

Owens head pounded and he unconsciously ground his teeth. When he had choked Cristina, he had no memory of it. Tonight he was conscious and could see the affect being choked had on her. The vision of her kicking and clawing and writhing and hitting at him caught in her nightmare made him want to run. Made him nauseous. No wonder she had to have therapy. No wonder she wanted them to finish. No wonder Meredith hated him.

"It's okay." Arizona was saying to Cristina, to Callie, to Owen, to herself. A hand on Callie's arm, she trailed it down and round to Callie's back and pushed her gently out of the bedroom, mouthing, "Let's go," and they left, not quite closing the door behind them.

"I have no idea what happened." Cristina said quietly lying back on the bed. It was in part to settle Owen but she realised as soon as she had said it, it was the worst thing she could've said. Owen didn't want to get back into the bed with her. Something stopped him from getting under the covers. How could she not notice, but she didn't say anything, just snuggled up to him, needing comfort.

*

Toward the end of the next day Callie leant against the nurses' station on the main floor distracted by the notes she was making. She didn't see Cristina walk up, hands pushed into her lab coat for comfort. Cristina had been looking for Callie, she stared purposefully at her roommate and asked; "Do you want me to move out?"

Callie looked at her. "No. Why?"

Cristina was silent, but Callie wasn't about to interject and make completing the sentence less painful, so Cristina continued. "Because of all the...drama..."

"No." Callie responded. "Do you want to move out?"

"No."

"Well then." Callie went back to her notes.

Cristina bounced on the balls of her feet a moment and then swung slowly on her heels to move off.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Owen were engaged?" Callie said still concentrating on her writing.

"What?"

"You're not just my roommate, you know..." Callie something in her voice. "You're my friend... Owen practically lives at our place. I've seen his ass more times than I've seen Arizona's. Why wouldn't you tell me...?" She looked up from her notes for a second and noting Cristina's face was marked with confusion, Callie went back to her writing. "Never mind."

Cristina hands in pockets was processing Callie's comments. "I'm sorry." Was all she said.

Callie didn't look up, didn't say anything, but kept writing. Cristina turned on her heels and walked away back down the hall.


	11. Chapter 11

**ELEVEN**

Even Bailey had noticed it. Cristina had a spring in her step and was happier; she bounced excitedly at the heavy cases, even more than normal. Bailey didn't feel she needed to ask about Cristina's new cheery moods. After Yang's mini break down in the locker room the week before and Baileys pep talk to her; this renewed energy obviously meant she had reviewed things with Dr Hunt and the relationship was back on track.

Today however Yang was more subdued and actually quiet. Two days in a row Cristina was quiet, unsettled, looking a little pale. Bailey would watch her, but not interfere. She was a grown woman in a grown relationship.

Cristina discussed an issue with Karev in the middle of the corridor, their interns waiting patiently behind them. Whenever one of them dared to move or cough to signal that they were still waiting. Cristina without turning would growl something derogatory. Bailey shook her head. Dr Hunt would certainly have his hands full with her.

Cristina looked down at her page. "That's Dr Hunt, he's in his office - I'll be back in about 15 minutes." She said to Alex. "My interns are your interns; feel free to abuse as you like." She turned to her group. "I'll be back in ten minutes and no one better be dead or dying when I get back."

In moments Cristina was knocking on the door of Owens office. She had paged him earlier and stalled her interns waiting for his page back.

"Come in."

Cristina opened the office door and slithered inside. Shutting the door.

*

Since her nightmare he had gone one way and she had gone the other, it just happened. More than anything she was embarrassed to have experienced something she couldn't remember in front of her friends, being naked was secondary. But it was the way Callie looked at her afterward, and the way Arizona continually threw her sympathetic glances that made her cringe. Not to mention the way Owen...the way Owen seemed, unless she was much mistaken, seemed to have pushed her away. He wasn't connecting to her. She wanted to know if he was okay, but he used that age old male excuse. 'I'm a bit busy right now.'

The only person who wasn't avoiding her or making her feel like a victim was Meredith and that was because Meredith was laid up in bed and had no idea about anything, and Cristina hoped it would stay that way.

It was best to give her space Owen had decided. But somehow that day of space, with work and odd shifts, had turned into two days, and stretched into three, and when he spotted her sitting alone again on the roof garden at the hospital, he knew that three days distance was long enough. She had been to his office a few times, but he couldn't deal with her, said he was busy. None too happy she had stalked out and eventually left him to himself. She knew he was avoiding. But he needed the time, he was processing.

Standing on the bridge he looked through the glass at her sitting on the hospital roof terrace alone, staring at nothing. She had been fairly low key for a few days, not animated, not hungry for surgery, not trying to battle Karev for trauma, and not languishing hungrily in cardio.

He was desperate to hold her, smooth that crazy hair, hear her cackle laugh, smirk at her wit, feel her feet massage into him in bed, discuss medical cases with her, he _was_ missing her. He didn't plan to keep his distance, it just happened. Watching her out of the window, he knew it was time to face things.

"You okay?" It was the only thing he could think of to say as he approached her on the hospital roof garden. Cristina didn't move when he walked up behind her. When he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder she didn't reach for it or shrug it off, as he expected, she didn't seem to care. He looked at her face as he sat down beside her. She looked worried. He dropped his hand from her shoulder and gently eased it along her thigh in soothing circles.

Her stare was ahead of her resting on nothing in particular. Her hands rested in her lap, her legs crossed at the ankles. Her unruly hair pressed under her black headband at the temples, fell around shoulders, her face was touched with tension.

"Where have you been?" She spoke steadily, not looking at him.

"What?"

"Where have you been?" She looked at his hand on her thigh and he stopped moving it.

"I thought you wanted to be alone." He looked at her, taking his hand back, "I thought I should leave you..."

"...To deal with it by myself?" She wasn't ready to look at him yet.

"No. To give you some time, some space..."

"Did we discuss this?" She was pissed off.

"I thought you'd _want_ to be by yourself..."

"...So you figured, to hell with her."

"No."

She needed to vent obviously. He put his hand on her thigh again, massaging gently. This time she glanced at it, but he didn't move it and she didn't move her leg. "I'm sorry." He apologised.

"Don't say you're sorry." She remarked bitterly. "When these things happen you're always sorry. I'm tired of you being sorry."

He made a face. "_These things_?"

"These things, nightmares, choking, hurting me."

He remained quiet, hurt. Of course she'd be digging in her mind, bringing events up. She was hurt. He stared at her and tried to rise above it. He knew what it was to be troubled with nightmares. "But are you doing okay?"

"I don't know."

She took her time about speaking again and when she did say something she had her own question. Her tone had come down a notch, but her voice was still heavy, fed up, worried, pissed.

"Is this what it's like for you?"

"Is what like?" His blue eyes squinted at her in the brightness of the roof garden.

"I haven't slept in three days." Cristina stated resting her cheek on her hand. "I've been afraid to sleep. I'm exhausted."

He didn't say anything.

"I wanted to know, is this what it was like. For you?"

Owen looked down; he didn't want to talk about nightmares. He wanted to go back to work, deal with his patients, meet her after work. Tell her again he was sorry for leaving her alone so long, take her to his apartment and make love to her through the night. He scratched at the back of this neck, gripping short strands of hair in his finger tips, pulling. A bad habit he had developed.

He was aware that it was mid shift and that he had work to do. He had patients to catch up on, and he wished that he'd arranged for someone to cover for him. But seeing her out of the window looking so... alone. He needed to end the standoff, and be near her. He wanted to keep his mind on her and not work, and not cheat her with thoughts of his patients, but it was difficult.

"I haven't gone through it in a long time." He said to her. "But it was like that for me sometimes, yes."

"You didn't want to sleep, you avoided sleeping?"

"If I could."

"How did you do your job?"

Owen reached for her hand.

"I had you."

She pulled her hand away. It sounded too romantic.

"How did you _focus?_" She demanded.

"I had you." He said again, keeping his eyes forward. "I focused on you, on a relationship with you. On seeing your face happy, on holding you in my arms. On touching you. On sharing surgeries with you. On seeing you happy with your friends. On seeing my mother again." He turned to her. "On making love with you. All those things helped me to focus, kept my nightmares at bay, and stalled them. Until... until I... hurt you... and then I couldn't focus on anything, not on you, not on us, not mum. Didn't want to see your face, touch you, hold you, make love to you." His jawbone flexed at the memories. "I was locked in a cycle of nightmares for a long time, war nightmares, and then hurting you nightmares."

They were silent. Thinking.

Forgetting.

"You didn't answer my question." She said.

He wanted to stand up away from her, go back inside to his work. Tell her she ought to go inside now, and they could talk about it later. He really wanted to do that, and put off discussions about his nightmares and her nightmares. But as specially as her nightmare was caused by his nightmares he _had to _support her. But he backed off. "This isn't the time to talk about this."

"Why not?"

Owens neck flushed red, a sign of his anxiety. No nightmares for eight months. Bliss of sex, and love and sleeping with Cristina without nightmares or trouble or anxiety. Therapy and brain scans and rehab and his relationship and his work and order, and visits and the acceptance of his Mother.

It had all been going so well.

"We're at work. You're upset..." Did he really need to go on with his list of objections?

"You didn't answer my question." Cristina demanded.

"What question?" His agitation growing, "I answered your question." He didn't want all 'this' not now, not at present. He only wanted to know she was alright and that they were alright. The rest could wait until later. He never talked about his nightmares outside of Wyatt's office and he had never discussed the detail of them with Cristina, ever.

"I asked you where you had been. Why have I been alone with this, _where were you?_" She was angry again and bit angrily at him.

Owen thought about his answer. He breathed deeply and took control. He rubbed slowly at the back of his neck with one hand. "Cristina. I promise you I'll answer your question, and I'll listen to what you have to say. But this isn't the time. This isn't the place to discuss this. We'll do this tonight. Can I see you tonight?" He was still asking her for permission even after all this time. If she wasn't so angry with him she would smile. But she didn't smile, she nodded. It was a slight miniscule bob of the head. She knew him. Despite wanting to stay mad, she knew, inside the hospital, he was a doctor first.

"Whatever..." She verbalised.

"Come on. Come back inside, you must be busy too." She didn't reach out for his outstretched hand. Just stood up on her own and moved ahead of him.


	12. Chapter 12

**TWELVE**

After her shift at the hospital Cristina went home, now he decided he wanted to talk Cristina wasn't in the mood to talk. She had tried for almost three days to talk with Owen, but he put her off by being 'busy.' So now she wasn't in the mood for Owens apologies and sad blue eyes. She was angry with him. Having spent the last two and a half days, now three days, pondering alone, avoiding sleep, avoiding home. She knew it wasn't the best way to communicate and now he was probably waiting outside the hospital for her. Let him ponder alone she thought as she had stepped into her apartment.

Slamming her coat on the kitchen counter she reached her hand into her fridge without looking to pull out a beer. Nothing. She swung the fridge door wide. Nothing? It looked like a brand new appliance. No food, no juices, no nothing. There were three beers in the fridge the night before. She cursed Callie and Arizona and headed for her room. Her bed was a chaos of clothes, and stuff, and shit and more clothes. Three days without Owen cleaning up after her or badgering her to tidy up and the system had broken down already. Three days!

Peeling off her clothes, she headed for the shower. No shampoo. That cold facet that Callie _promised_ she would tell the landlord about, that she promised would be fixed by tonight, was still not fixed. So Cristina's lovely warm shower was just a hot shower, no medium, no measure, just hot and annoying, and after the day she had, annoying was just, annoying.

Cristina slammed onto her bed, under her covers of clothes and tried to sleep, exhausted from working and not sleeping well, she just needed to rest. The crazy spread of strewn clothing was a sort of comfort to being alone, a ward against another unsettled night.

Again though, as had happened in the last few days. She had lain awake; her body a confusion of sleep and wake as she tried to think about what had triggered her nightmare. Her theories ran from Callie and her blow out at Joes, to Meredith's disappointment of her engagement, to Owen's disastrous attempts at dating Mer, to the commitment of marriage. Cristina turned over in the bed, disturbing settled clothing. These lines of logic fit her analytical thought processes, but didn't really account for the recent nightmare being her third nightmare since the choking incident.

She wasn't engaged to Owen four months ago, after the first nightmare, or three months ago, after the second, and Callie, true to her word hadn't said anything after she burst into her room during the first nightmare, she hadn't said anything coming home to the second, and during the third when she brought Arizona into the mix, with Owen present and watching. She still hadn't said anything. Cristina turned over in the bed again. She was not sleeping much tonight again was she?

Before leaving the hospital that night she had taken a deep, angry, reluctant, pissed off, pathetic, accepting breath, and walked into Dr Wyatt's office and made an A.S.A.P appointment with the receptionist, for a 'session'. God she hated that word. But she had no choice. Three nightmares. Three scary Owen is choking you to death nightmares later. It was time to deal with the ordeal. Yet again.

When tears watered her eyes, Cristina hated herself, and hated Owen, and hated Meredith's judgement and hated Callie's resentment and hated Arizona's pity gaze. She hated the situation, that a competent, professional, brilliant, promising woman had gotten herself into, by saying _yes_ to a beautiful, flame headed, blue eyed, complex, brilliant man, she knew she loved on sight. Who made her scream internally with pleasure any time he touched or looked at her, or spoke to her. Who made her feel beautiful and brilliant and special. Saying yes to all of that after he showered in her shower fully clothed and talked about the brutality at war was probably the biggest mistake of her life.

Of course she understood Meredith. Of course she knew her friends fears and doubts. She had the same fears and doubts all the time. But she knew Owen was a good man, and she loved him and wanted to be with him and _be there for him_; and that utterly romantic, but true statement, was what she hated in pathetic females, but in her, _being there for him_ meant she was willing to be less selfish, and move beyond the limitations that stalled her romances with Burke and other men.

She hated herself for being in this trap and she hated Owen for trapping her in this nightmare, and even though it wasn't really his fault. She hated. Well everyone.

It was only 12.30 am she justified. If she knew him, and she did. He would still be awake. Reading, having a drink, doing medical research on the computer. Doing a host of other ordinary things that would bore him after a few hours, but fill his brain with non war material, bring on tiredness and send him to sleep. She knew what time he got off and she knew he would still be awake. She was still awake, so why couldn't he be awake.

Cristina fought her way out of bed and dressed quickly, flinging on jeans, shirt, coat, bag, scarf. No bra, no panties, no socks. They were details. She left her hair out loose. It would help cover her ears in the cold night.

It took her an hour, but she walked all the way. Her wild hair blown about by the wind, cursing the rumbling affect that this man had had on her life and on her friendships. Thinking about Owen and his perfect apartment. Resenting the fact that if he wasn't filling her fridge with food, and picking up after her and scolding her and quietly organising her, she might always be left with an empty fridge and a hot shower. She resented that she needed to have him around. Wasn't her life just perfect before, Mr Perfect showed up with his trauma and his nightmares and his blue eyes and his love?

His apartment was masculine, comfortable, and homely. When they first met, it was empty, bare, boring. But as time had gone on and he had become more comfortable with the new him, Owen had decorated using rich colours and deep woods, and furnished and added things to walls and accessorized. Her word, not his. Her favourite things were his shower which was huge, his bed which was huge, his TV which was huge. He had a big screen TV. Such an un-Owen pretention. Oh, but it delivered delicious close ups when they watched surgeries, or when she watched surgeries. He was usually cleaning up or reading during that time. Her surgery watching obsession was not his obsession, and now they were 'together' he didn't indulge her as much by staying glued to her side as she salivated. His word, not hers.

Tonight though as her shoes clacked noisily against the lonely pavements, she hated his apartment, she hated the oversized luxury chairs, and the neat sturdy furniture, and the bold wooden bookcase that held fantastic and obscure medical books. She hated the stupid oversized shower with the over head facet, and the bench where she sat and shaved her legs or rubbed lotions into her feet. She hated his ridiculous kitchen with the pretentious island that he used to chop food on and make her delicious salads and other crap. She especially couldn't stand that his fridge was always stocked with everything she liked, and she only had to reach in without looking and grab something. And do not get her started on that so called luxury bed that was a queen but could be a king it was so wide they could roll on it confidently without fear of falling off. With his thread counts and his feather duvets and his woven leather headboard and synchronized bedding and all his neatness.

He claimed modesty. He screamed modesty. He wanted everyone to believe he was ordinary, and modest, and just a regular trauma surgeon and one of the guys like them. With his simple clothing and battered leather jackets. But he wasn't. He was a fraud; his home was an executive luxury apartment. His car was expensive. He could probably put Mark Sloan's' plush hotel room to shame. He would probably fit in very well with Saul and Helen in Beverly Hills. Yeah, they'd love him and not her. Of course everyone loved Owen Hunt.

She was going to say all of this to him tonight. On the way over to his apartment, things came to her mind that she decided she was going to say, as she marched through the emptying streets. She was going to share her feelings about Owen and his stupid apartment with him tonight.

He pulled open his front door and was taken aback. She looked frozen, but beautiful. Red cheeks, pale face, wild hair, lips purple and plump with cold. Angry.

"Did you walk?" It wasn't really a question. He looked after her as she barged past him. Owen closed his front door. "Do you know how late it is? Why did you walk here?" Of course she knew how late it was and he knew she knew, again it wasn't really a question. "I would've picked you up." He walked over to her, hands on his hips. "You do know how vulnerable you are walking about this late at night by yourself?" That was a question. But also a warning.

"I waited for you after work." He said. Owen's hand reached out to smooth Cristina s unruly hair. When she shrugged him off, he ignored her and continued. Then moving to her coat he removed her bag, which was sashed across one shoulder. Placing it on the floor, his hands moved to unbutton the long leather coat. She let him, glaring. He pulled it off and slung it over the small hallway bench.

"You're still upset."

She was. But the in warmth and the comfort of his home the fight she was going to give him, left, it could reappear in the morning when she wasn't so shattered, after her long day and her long walk and almost three days of no sleep. Cristina stifled a yawn. His face, his eyes, his half naked body, and his gentle handling added to her surrender.

"Come on." He pulled her to his room and once in there began to undress her, she let him. His face pulled in surprise when he pulled off her top and was met with bare skin. His eyes focussed on her breasts. Pulling at her waistband he opened her jeans and pushed them down her hips. Again his face pulled surprised she had no underwear on. He was tempted to touch her but he didn't.

"In a hurry?" Was all he said.

He rubbed at her arms and along her shoulders and on her cheeks and smoothed her hair and smoothed her shoulders and smoothed along her arms. As she kicked herself out of her shoes and out of her jeans he said. "I'll get you something hot to drink." Owen pulled back the bed covers on his bed and Cristina crawled into his large bed and assumed the foetal position, mainly to feel warmth. Owen covered her over.

As he suspected, Cristina was fast asleep when he got back. Switching off the light, but leaving the door open, Owen went back o the living room and to the book he was reading.


	13. Chapter 13

**THIRTEEN**

The next morning they were about ten minutes away from the hospital when Owen pulled his car into a parking space at a strip mall. She hadn't spoken during their morning coffee, and when he made her breakfast, she ate and kept quiet. She wanted to go straight to work and not back to her apartment for clothes, she had a odd bits of clothing stuck in her locker she claimed, and so they had set off earlier than they needed to.

He switched off the car engine undid his seat belt and shifting in his seat, turned to face Cristina, his blue eyes focussed on her beautiful, but serious face. "Do you want to reconsider is that it?" He said.

Cristina looked idly at the dash board. She opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind.

"We don't have to be engaged right now." Owen spoke for her. "It's just..." He took a breath. He didn't know what he wanted to say except; "If you don't want to marry me, I'll understand. I come with a lot of baggage that I thought was under control. Obviously it's not turning out that way. So if you want to reconsider this, I will agree with that. If that is what you want." Owen focused on her face, on her eyes. "And before you ask, this is not a panic attack, it's a reality check. Maybe there is just too much to deal with where I am concerned."

Cristina let her head flop back onto the head rest. "Good try Batman." Sure he had given her an out and she could take it. Let all this trouble, and nightmares, and trauma reverberation disappear. She sighed and again tried to find the words she needed. They were simple words really. They just required a lot of honesty, and once spoken would shift their relationship yet again, and Cristina was tired of shifting. Why couldn't they just love one another, work together, have sex together, go out together, spend their lives together. Another sigh left her mouth, but she still didn't say anything.

"Talk to me." He concentrated on her face. "Last night you showed up at the apartment. You arrived pissed off and angry at me. So let's just deal with it. I know you're upset because I wasn't there. But what else do you need to tell me Cristina? I won't move the car until you..."

"...Where were you?" She said cutting him off. "Where were you when I needed your support? I had a nightmare and you weren't there for me. I never left your side, not once." She gave him a sideways look. "What happened to you?"

He was going to say, 'I'm sorry.' But he didn't.

"I needed you." She stared briefly at him. "I need you. I hate that I do, but I do." The undersides of her eyes were dark with lack of sleep. Her fingertips massaged across her eyebrows and she sighed. "I am so angry with you."

"I know," he said.

"If you can't deal with looking at me when I need you, we won't be able to do this."

The sorrowful look in his blue eyes made her want to shake him. She clicked out of her seatbelt and turned her body to face him, her hands gesturing angrily. "You can't walk away from me Owen. You can't push me away and say you're busy. I know it's hard for you but..." She made it clear to him because she had decided, in her sleepless hours, she had decided. "...I don't want to do this with you if you cannot face me... when things happen."

"I froze." He admitted the disappointment on his face and in his body. He shook his head briefly as the memory of her thrashing about came back to him. "Every time I touched you... I was trying to wake you, but you fought me for your life."

Cristina swallowed and looked at her lap. Suddenly they were back to the beginning, when he was having sleepless nights and feeling tortured.

"The day I hurt you, was the worst in our lives..." His fists clenched and pressed to the steering wheel. "...I still don't forgive myself for that, and to see you reliving that night. Actually seeing what I did to you. I just froze. I thought, hoped, it was all behind us... So you're right I couldn't face you. Couldn't look at you." His swung a look at her. His face was serious, sorrowful. "I am sorry."

There was a long silence

"...It was my third nightmare." She breathed quietly. Those were the simple words she needed to tell him.

"What?"

"...The other night... was not my first nightmare..." She massaged her brows again with one hand, she didn't look at him.

Owen's mouth was open in surprise.

"Callie... knows... "

Owens jaw flexed. His eyes stared at her.

"...She's annoyed with me." Cristina continued. "...So busy pleasing Meredith and _she's_ been suffering." She cast a frustrated look out of the window. This never ending, thing, was a never ending, thing.

"Why haven't you said anything before?" Owen demanded. "Do you know what I've been thinking about this!"

"_I'm _sorry."

"This isn't time for your sorry Cristina! Do you have any idea what I have been thinking?!" He stared at her.

"Yes..." She said quietly, looking at him. "Yes...I do know what you've been thinking."

She knew would have been torturing himself with thoughts and images and guilt. She knew that's what made him avoid her. But she was hurting, because instead of pulling together, once again he had separated himself from her. She cast her eyes idly out of the window. "I've been living with it, it hasn't been a real problem."

Owen was incredulous, and angry. "You've been lying to me and if it was your third nightmare. You're kidding yourself it's not a problem." His face knotted as millions of thoughts ran through his mind. He let the side windows down to give them both some air. Cristina was grateful and took a long breath in through her nose. "I'm going back to Wyatt. It will all be okay."

The sight of her thrashing around on her bed flashed in his mind, and to think she had the experience at other times on her own and had kept it from him.

"I didn't want you to worry about it." She admitted knowing what he was thinking.

His temperature came down a bit and he shook his head. "This is... " He started, but, he had to say _those _words. They were an integral part of their relationship weren't they? " I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying you're sorry!" She kicked her feet hard onto the dashboard and bent her legs at the knees. "I know you're sorry! It's not going to help things. I know you are sorry. I know... you are sorry..." Cristina's eyes clamped shut. She hated this. "It's not going to help if you keep saying you're sorry! _I'm sorry._ I'm sorry that... " She pressed her palm into her forehead and massaged it. "...If this was some guy in a bar, this would be easy. But..." The pain in her rose to the surface. "But you are not some guy in a bar are you?"

He shook his head.

"You're..." She sighed and covered her face. "You're my...fucking McOwen..."

His eyes softened.

"I hate this, it's exhausting."

"Do you want us to end this?" What else could he say? Being with him was making her life complicated. Again.

"This is not about breaking up Owen. " Her voice was steady, but frustrated. "We agreed to be together and so that's it. We are getting married at some point." Her eyes met his confidently. "You said you would not leave me like... like he did. Let's just do this. I'm having nightmares, that I don't remember... but seeing that look on your face that night..." She looked away and sighed. "...And Callie upset and scared... and Arizona... _pitying me_... I am going to see Dr Wyatt, again. I want to get through this. I want _us_ to get through this.... you're dating Meredith for god sakes!" She wanted to kick at something, hurt something. "Sometimes I hate you for this, and I don't want that. I don't hate you, but I'm hating this..."

He understood. He understood the confusion. The emotion in her eyes explained her struggle and the depth of what she was feeling. Tears rolled down her cheeks in steady streams. Owens head flopped back on his head rest.

She really just wanted to curl up on his lap and have a good old fashioned cry, and have his hands sooth her back or her hair. "...And I'm angry..." She continued. "Very angry... at myself... Because... I want to do this... with you." Her emotional gasps went through him.

Owens hand reached out for hers and she took it, her grasp was tight, tighter than he anticipated. Across his car their hands sat lonely, but together. His thumb stroked her skin gently. They both struggled silently with the reality of their situation.

"This is our life together Owen and if you talk about breaking up again, I'll break up with you."

"That doesn't even make sense," He smiled towards her, his eyes soft, sorry, hopeful, in love.

Cristina shuffled over to lay her head on his shoulder; she placed her hand on his thigh. As a couple they had issues. And so their relationship was always going to be once forwards twice backwards, until it wasn't, and when that would be, who knew. Did it matter? If they were committed and together, it didn't. They would work through things, until they couldn't.

"I don't want to wait to get married." She said after a while.

That was all she said. He looked down at her expecting more. But that's all she said. He kissed the top of her head, and asked.

"When?"

"As soon as we can arrange it."

He pushed forward to look at her face. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Was all she said, looking up at him, tears still lingering on her cheeks. He smoothed at them with his thumb, before kissing her. Her tongue met his and they tenderly apologised with their lips, and celebrated with their touch, hands running lightly over each other.

Cristina pulled back first, staring into Owen's eyes, a serious look on her face. She needed a favour of him.

"Sure." Anything for her.

"Can you take Callie on a date?"

**THE END **


End file.
